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Hilary Duff Talks Marriage and I Don’t Agree

by Notorious Spinks on 03.06.2015

cosmo-mag-hilary-duff-cover Hilary Duff on April 2015 edition

When it comes to love and romance, I’m a romantic. I believe in love. I believe in the power of love. As I sipped a cup of coffee and browsed the ‘net, I came across a quote by Hilary Duff that will grace the cover of the April 2015 Cosmo mag.

I don’t want to sound bitter because I’m definitely not, but I don’t know if people are meant to be together forever. Things happen over a long relationship that you can’t always fight. A marriage of 20 years, the accomplishment of that must feel really great, but there are also huge sacrifices. I just always want to fight for happiness. – Hilary Duff

I’ll be honest with you. I had to read that quote a few times. It makes sense, but the part about being together forever… I’m not sure about that part. Full disclosure: I have never been married, but still. I have never believed that people grow apart or fall out of love. I believe that in many instances, people don’t know the person they’re marrying.

Over the years, I’ve seen many people divorce. I often wonder what gets them to that point. Like what incident became the straw that broke the camel’s back. Why now? Then I read a story, “Husband, 108, wife, 105 celebrate 82 years married.”

I feel that people don’t fall out of love or grow apart, I think they get to know the person they are with…the real person. There just comes a time when both parties drop the facades, see the situation for what it really is or realize that you can’t change people. Not at all…

All too often, I see people trying to change people, ignoring signs and habits that they hate, or living in denial so they can get boo’d up for the winter. Worse, they just want to be married. Then they say, “We fell out of love.” Tell the truth and shame the devil, y’all were never in love. Lust, maybe? Love, nah.

quotes-about-love-and-falling

I’m not saying this was Hilary and her ex-husband’s case, but in my heart, I feel that love can be forever. Very rarely do people just do an entire 360 degree turn… rarely. So, I’m not buying that with bitcoins or cash.

I think we need to do more dating and less sex. More talking and less texting. More eye-to-eye conversations and less FaceTime. We just need to be. Tell our stories and walk in our truths. Be honest about what we do and don’t want. Face the reality of who we are. That may mean that we have to tell some people goodbye before we even start, but to me that’s better than divorce. Maybe I’m just naive…

So what do you think? Can love be forever or is that just a silly girl’s dream? Leave your comment below and let’s talk this thang out.

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  • Still DatingMySpouse

    Love and marriage can last until death do them part. The people involved must be willing to die to self and serve their spouse in order to really have the happiness and longevity they seek from marriage. Hillary is looking at love and marriage from the damaged glasses she received from her damaged marriage.

  • Mark Skinner

    Not many can tell the difference between love and lust. Lust is fun but it never lasts. Love is something that one needs to “work at”. Love is the willingness to extend oneself to enhance the other person’s spiritual or emotional happiness. And it takes some effort.

  • Skinnyover40

    My husband and I have been married for over 28 years, I think a lot of people feel the way she does, but then she will meet someone new and fall in love.

  • Tingting Rimart

    Well, every one of us has our own opinion regarding marriage. I guess, she must not be really NOT happy to give up on hers.

  • Valerie Remy-Milora

    This is a priceless post! What a beautiful and inspirational couple! Love can be forever!!! My husband and I have been married for 22 years, and our love for one another has only grown deeper and more complex. Marriage is not easy. it requires commitment on behalf of both partners and as this couple so beautifully points out, it requires faith! A marriage rooted in God will stand the test of time!

  • I can maybe see where she is coming from I do think people fall out of love, but they made a vow to stay together and must work to fall BACK in love. The movie Fireproof is a great example of that 😉 – My disclaimer, I have also not been married before.

  • I do believe in falling out of love. It’s not a little thing that causes the rift but years of little things. It’s more often during the 20-30s year of age because people are still truly discovering themselves.

  • Lynn Dee

    I do believe in FOREVER. And for me, marriage is not just about love. It has to have respect for each other too.

  • When I heard this news I was really sad for them because celebrities are often looked up to and we always wish they would also get their happy ending. I like what you advice – more dating and less of the physical. I recall how traditional courtship has helped get to know one another that the chances of a lifetime marriage is higher. Then again, it is so difficult to gauge it because each situation can be different.

  • Chrystal M.

    I think its easy to judge when you are not in their shoes. People do fall in and out of love all the time. Life changes and sometimes people don’t change with it. I dated my first husband for 5 years before we married and we stayed together another 5 years after that. I left and divorced. Not because I didn’t love him anymore, but because I suffer from major mental health problems. He went through all of that with me and at the end of the day, I honestly felt I was not the wife he deserved. So, I let him go. My second husband and I reaching a breaking point as well. This time, what was once love has been beat down and brusied. As a couple you are supposed to grow together. Its all about communication and compromise. We’ve been in and out of therapy. There are outside influences that I don’t see ever changing. So, its possible that sometimes, people divorce. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just cant work though things.

  • Bradley Finnearty

    I have been married three times. This marriage has lasted 15 years and we will be together as a couple 21 years. The reason is we have matured, and we are friends. We know that the other one has our backs so to say. That is the secret I believe. You have to be there for each other. You have to place the other on the same level as yourself and want them to be happy too. If you are looking for happiness for yourself only, then you will fail.

  • Cherri Megasko

    I think the secret is loving your partner enough to sacrifice some of your own whims for him/her. If you are the most important thing to you, then staying in a long-term relationship probably isn’t going to work.

  • mail4rosey

    I’ve been married a bit and I’m still learning about and getting to know my husband. It is a wonderful journey.

  • Beth

    I think it really depends. Sometimes things workout flawlessly… other times, not so much!

  • Digna Dreibelbis

    I divorced and remarried so I would never judge. Sometimes we make mistakes and you need correct it.

  • kickingitwithkelly

    I got married as a teenager and it did not work. We ended up hating each other. I got married 15 year later and we are still together after almost 20 years. It takes work and it is not always about love and romance.

  • Kori

    Having been married young (and now in the process of a divorce), I think that the strength of a marriage depends on the individuals involved. My grandparents were married relatively young and they’ve been married for 75 years. I lasted 12. But I’m in the best relationship now and couldn’t be happier.

  • She was very young when she got married. Her husband could have changed. We shouldn’t judge. If the rumors are true, he clearly was out drinking and looking for other women!

  • chubskulit

    I definitely believe that LOVE can last forever (till death do couples part). My parents were married for a log time, Dad passed away 12 years ago but Mom never remarried, he still misses my Dad. The same story goes to my in laws!

  • I definitely believe that love can last forever. Then again, I’ve only had one partner in life and we love each other very much. I don’t know, it just takes effort and being secure with yourself enough not to want to change your partner.

  • ebmommy

    I believe love can be forever but both parties need to work at it and have God in the center of their marriage to make it a successful one. Egos, pride and self centered feelings would not come in the way to make a mess!

  • Divorce is a byproduct of a misunderstanding. I truly believe that if partners accept and understand each other, divorce won’t be necessary. Maybe Hilary Duff is talking about the married life of celebrities only.

  • touristmeetstraveler

    I believe love is forever, but you have to be perfectly sure; rushing things will only lead to unhappiness.

  • Jeanine @ sixtimemommy.com

    I believe love and marriage is forever. I mean, I’m married and if that ever dissolved I wouldn’t get married again. So, I guess it can be forever but isn’t always. But to me, I wouldn’t say the vows a second time

  • Sara P.

    I read that article and I didn’t agree with Hilary either. I believe love is a choice – you can make it work if you both WANT to.

  • I agree true love does last and it is a choice and there are sacrifices! But it is worth it, so very very worth it I will celebrate 10 years of marriage 16 years together this summer and couldn’t be happier.

  • Ricci

    I have never been married either but i do believe that love is forever and I know that marriages take work and sacrifice but you do that when you love someone.

  • Jennifer

    A true marriage is all about sacrifice. This year celebrates 20 years for Hubby & I (and I’m 33) so you know I’m all about long term & forever. If you can’t see the long haul with that person then they aren’t the one.

  • Jennifer H

    I, too, am in agreement with you. When you make a commitment like marriage – u should turn over every stone to make it work, to make you and your partner happy. I love your last paragraph. Well said!

  • Jeannette

    I totally agree with you that love is forever. But you have to work at it. You have to be unwilling to quite. You have to know that just giving up is not an answer. I’ve been divorced and have gotten remarried and before we even got married, my husband and I promised each other that divorce would never be mentioned in our home…we’d just have to work harder. While to some that may not sound like happiness, to me the security of knowing that our love is forever is totally worth it.

  • Candy Olivares

    To me love is forever. But things happen, I guess no one knows what happens behind closed doors. I also did not realize Hilary Duff got a divorce. Sad. but hopefully it’s for the best.

  • Wait. Did Hilary Duff get divorced after? I couldn’t tell by her quote.

  • Andrea Summers

    I absolutely believe that love can be forever, but not how society views love. Love is sacrificing, even when you don’t want too.. when the person drives you over the edge. I also believe that marriage is a commitment for life, through the good and bad, growing together, as we change still loving that person.

  • Kung Phoo

    We have a few friends now that got divorced, and i asked my wife the question, if they were happy a few months ago what really happened.. her answer is that people hide what is really going on, so Hillary in my opinion is right, people get to know the real person and do not like them.

  • I think a marriage is sacred and should be a lifetime commitment. However, I’m not sure if I believe in love that lasts forever so I’m not sure I’d ever remarry myself.

  • I can understand what she’s saying, because some people change over the years. However, I also know that a marriage isn’t always going to be a bed of roses. Marriage is like a job. You have to work at it everyday in order for it to be successful. It starts to crumble the moment a person starts to sit back and watch. That’s why I believe that many marriages result in divorces since one or both parties don’t want to take the time and effort in making a marriage work.

  • Robin Rue

    I am divorced. Sometimes you just don’t love each other anymore and it makes more sense to move on. I am sure some people have these epic love stories, but I think they are few & far between.

  • Lashuntrice

    Love can definitely be forever.

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