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No, You Will Not Be Fat-Shaming Me Today

by Notorious Spinks on 09.11.2015


dear-fat-people-videoI’m a fat girl. I’ve always been a fat girl and when I think back, fat-shaming has ALWAYS been present in my life. I can clearly remember the unpleasantries often spewed by my mom about my weight, from a classmate making fun of my size 32 Levi jeans (that d*mn size on the label) when I was in the fourth grade and the hundreds of “You’re cute to be a fat girl” remarks. In spite of the fat-shaming, I was able to find love in the midst of the fat.

Last week, someone posted a link to Nicole Arbour’s, Dear Fat People rant in one of my Facebook groups. I saw the comments and kept it moving. Who needs more ignorance in their atmosphere? Certainly, not me. But the video just kept circulating and I couldn’t ignore it. The first time I watched the video, I was left with my head cocked to the side. Flabbergasted. All I could say was, “No b*itch, you will not be fat-shaming me today.” Honestly, I had to watch the video a few times and each time I was more shocked than the last. No this bish didn’t.

Previous to seeing this tasteless attempt at comedy, I had never heard of this self-proclaimed comedian, Nicole Arbour. From what I’ve seen, this misguided soul is not a comedian. An @sshole with an Internet connection, maybe. But not a comedian. Whoopi Goldberg is a comedian. Hell, Martha Stewart is a comedian (Did you see her in the Justin Bieber roast? Epic.) But, Nicole Arbour needs to go back to the drawing board.

In Dear Fat People, Arbour says:

Fat-shaming is not a thing. Fat people made that up. That’s the race card with no race.

She goes on to say:

If there are people watching this video who have a specific health condition, this is not aimed at you.

If you’re going to be rude, nasty, ugly and tacky, own your ish. Don’t try to throw disclaimers out there as a disguise. Just, do you. But, how do we know the fat people who are suffering from health conditions that have led to them being overweight versus those without? Do we wear t-shirts? Colorful wristbands? Headbands? How would you know this? Better yet, why is it your freaking business?

I could go on and on about the damages and emotional toll that fat-shaming has on people. You don’t have to be obese to be fat-shamed either. It’s one thing to point out weight gain, but to ridicule or insult someone because of it takes it to another level. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, sibling or spouse negatively pointing out your muffin-top, fat-shaming is fat-shaming.

It’s clear that Arbour thinks that a small and skinny frame means you’re healthy. I have many small friends with high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. Weight doesn’t determine your health condition. Can it play a factor? Yes. But, is it the ultimate determining factor? Hell, no! If that were the case then the hospital would be filled with fat people and all the skinny people would be home living healthy lives.

Contrary to popular belief, fat-shaming is a THING. Anytime you choose to shame others based on their conditions, lifestyle or choices, you’re attempting to shame them. More so, it’s a form of passive aggression from people who tend to be miserable in their own lives and they have to find fault in the lives of others.

If you don’t have anything good to say then shut your damn mouth. It’s really that easy. As content creators, we have the ability to spark change with our mediums. Do we really want to leave a legacy of shaming others when we could be encouraging and inspiring others? We have enough hate in the world, so why add to it?

Misery loves company, and it’s clear that Arbour is a miserable… Maybe she’ll see that there are consequences for her actions since she was just cut from a gig and others should follow suit. It’s easy to talk about what we are not. As I strive to live a healthier life while fighting PCOS, I will not be bullied or fat-shamed by anyone. Not even you, Nicole Arbour with your piss-poor attempts at satire.

Have you ever been fat-shamed or shamed for any other reasons? How did you handle it?

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  • Wow I actually seen her videos on Facebook + Youtube. Yes she think she is being funny and using her social media influence to make a point…but a point she has no business opening her mouth to! She did it for views and clicks I am sure…like most of these people who are desperate to go viral and be “famous” well now she is paying the consequence earlier by losing that gig! Sad…

  • Desirae Young

    This video disgust me. Not only that, but she is getting so much fame from it. Thankfully everyone is shaming her and thats what she needs. She even had a movie deal taken away from her, hopefully she regrets her discussion. I am a big girl and I get so sick of people telling me “you are just lazy”. I wish loosing weight was easy, not for this PCOS girl,

  • Lena B

    Why wouldn’t these people get a life? Fat shamming exists even when there is nothing to shame. I was always on the bigger side when I was going to school. I went to the school with Russian ballerina girls. Everyone was tiny, but me. I was average, but in that school – I was huge and you bet I was shammed.

  • Shaming on any level is just not okay. I saw that video and I was so disgusted. Sometimes I don’t think people realize how hurtful their words can be. Instead of shaming we need to celebrate and appreciate everyone.

  • Ourfamilyworld

    Shaming is totally not cool and I don’t know why some people keep doing this. We all have our flaws, so they should stop shaming others because they are not perfect. No one is! You are a beautiful person inside and out and that’s what matters.

  • Great post Spinks. I’ll leave this right here for the empowerment effect: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rJe2tOS90E

  • Jennifer Juro

    Shaming in general sucks for any reason. It hits home hard and can really destroy a person’s self-esteem. You never recover from it it’s horrible to go through and especially try to move past when its friends or family.

    • It seems to be worst with family and friends. That’s the worst part about it.

  • rika agustini

    You are so beautiful and so glad that you write this post. I don’t understand why she posted that kind of video, attacking people. About diabetes, so many skinny people ( especially in my family) got affected by Diabetes type 2. My mom is very skinny, eat so little, she doesn’t even like sugar but she always get sick and her glucose is very high. So people need to stop bullying others..Everyone is beautiful.. they’re so unique but not perfect.

    • Rika, you’re right. Size doesn’t set the standard for healthy. Bullying is out of hand and the sad part is that children learn from us.

  • Preach! There is no reason anyone should be making anyone else feel uncomfortable about their appearance. It makes me so sad to see all the bullying going around in this world – a world where my kids will be growing up in. I try my best to teach my kids that everyone is beautiful.

    • Yes. We really should watch what we say because the children are listening to us. They mimic what we do and say.

  • Cynthia @craftoflaughter

    no person of any size, shape, race, gender, culture, etc should be shamed. Period. Size does not dictate beauty, intelligence, or passion. There is enough hatred in the world without creating more. You’re beautiful, my friend!

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